I used to have principles
Then I left them on an ocean liner
Now I mostly sit at home and watch T.V.

I own a board game called contentment
I bought it half price out of Argos
And it stays in its pride of place atop T.V.

And I love the fact you think I'm joking
I love the fact you think I'm joking
And when the dogs are in their kennel
I turn off the T.V.

I used to have my principles
Then I left then on a cruise ship
Now I mostly sit at home and watch T.V.

On Sundays when it's raining
I press my neck against the glass pane
And let the children sleep in blankets on the floor

And although you think I'm joking
I very rarely joke
Not since the heating finished working
And the dogs stood up and walked away

The dogs stood up, then turned and walked away.